I want to say thanks to each of you who have offered words of support and encouragement. It truly helps to get through the toughest of days knowing you are thinking about and praying for us.
I'm always curious (appreciative, but curious) when someone tells me how strong I am, because strong is not an adjective I'd use to describe myself. I've done nothing extraordinary. Nothing beyond supporting my husband, my love. I vowed in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, and I meant it. I've been asked why I don't leave and live a "normal" life. To that my initial reaction is "wow."
If David was battling cancer, would I get the same question? Because honestly he has no more control over being bipolar than getting cancer or any other illness.
It does not make me strong to love my husband. It makes me a wife. A wife who feels weak when I cannot take away my husband's pain. Who feels weak for the times when I'm worn out and frustrated when I need to be supportive. Who is terrified of losing the love of my life because of a mental illness that takes away his will to keep fighting for better days.
David is the strong one. He DOES keep fighting even when he has nothing left to fight with. He does this for one reason. Her name is Kennadie and she blessed our lives 6 years ago. Our daughter makes the most unbearable days worth living through. I'm not sure if he would still be with me fighting this battle if not for her.
So thank you for your support, kind words, and prayers. They mean more to us than you know.
With love, M