Some History

It would probably help most of you to know about David's history with this illness and how we've arrived at this current state. David has battled depression, though not very severe, from around the time he started college. He was prescribed anti-depressants which seemed to help, though looking back there was so much more going on that we didn't see at the time. For example, while always a shy and introverted person, he didn't realize the severity of his social anxiety. For years he was self-medicating with alcohol to get through the most basic of social functions. One (believe me there are many) problem with this was that David didn't know how to have one or two drinks. One drink always equalled seven or more, and most generally he wasn't the nicest person when intoxicated. Life went on like this for years and we just considered it our normal. Silly and naive, I know, but that's how it was.

I became pregnant with our daughter in October 2005 and life actually seemed to be going pretty well. When I was seven months along, David's dad suffered a massive heart attack and had triple bypass surgery. He was hospitalized for approximately two months. David took this extremely hard, particularly when Kennadie was born and his dad was still hospitalized. In retrospect, I probably should have seen the signs of what was to come. But without any experience for basis, that's not so easy to do. David started working on a "project" that he was insistent would make us rich and he could leave his job and be his own boss. As months went by, he was secluding himself more and more, getting less and less sleep and living on coffee and anti-depressants. In April 2006 he told me he was quitting his job, cashing out his retirement and beginning a new adventure. He was totally euphoric and there was nothing I could say that would change his mind.

That night I packed up Kennadie and went to my parents' house, afraid of what David was going to do and knowing something wasn't right. There were a series of events that night which led to him leaving town and finally calling me around 10:00 the next morning in tears; he had hit his bottom. He drove home and we took him to the hospital. His mania continued during his stay and lots of different meds and therapies were tried. He came home angry and denying that his bi-polar diagnosis was true. This battle went on for years with many bouts of him trying to run away and/or stopping his medicine. There were few good days, but mostly bad. He barely went to work and if he did, he left early. Honestly, he was a hot mess and there was nothing I could do about it.

In November 2009 we made the joint decision that working was not in his best interest. It was a huge trigger for his illness and every time he stayed home and got healthy, all was lost as soon as he went back to work. He went into a severe depression for the next two months until we finally found a fantastic psychiatrist and Christian therapist that really listened to him and took a genuine interest in his well-being.

David had a solid year and a half of mostly good days, though the depression was always still there. He had a hiccup this past November and we've been trying to dig out of it ever since, but feel like we are at least starting to make some headway. I have learned mostly what triggers his manic and depressive episodes and found that the paramount of his health is a regimented sleeping and eating pattern (and of course taking his meds). We are working hard to not just keep him healthy, but our family as well. For a while, the illness consumed all of us all of the time; we don't want to live that way and strive to keep focused on what's most important, our daughter.

So now you have some background and I will plan on updating on the here and now going forward. Remember, you can always ask questions, I'm no longer afraid to speak.

Pray, Hope, & Don't Worry ~ St. Padre Pio